Movie Mania
by Kalden
Summary: I've written a movie, and decided to co-direct it with my friend Pheobe. Guess who our cast is? The Reikai Tantei of course!
1. Hiring the Cast, starting with Hiei

Disclaimer: Yu Yu Hakusho is not mine. I wish I owned Yusuke and Kurama and Hiei and Kuwabara and Genkai and Koenma but I don't. If I did, the world would be a better place because all those angsty Kurama/Hiei fans would be so much happier. I know I would. ^^' Yeah. +coughs+  
  
Hiring the Cast  
  
Directing a movie is not the simplest thing in the world. Not at all. My first act was picking the cast. I was sifting through the phonebook, a.k.a my magna wish list, when I came across one of my favorite anime at the bottom of the list.  
  
Yu Yu Hakusho.  
  
And this was where it all started. I flew to Japan at top speed, using my wonderful super powers of rabid fangirlishness. I landed outside of Genkai's place, panting out my small little lungs, and clutching portraits of my three darlings. And a few copies of Kuwabara's poetry. It wasn't the first time I had flown to Japan in search of these guys. Not to mention I had stolen Kurama's hair brush comb, and Yusuke's current bottle of hair gel, and the poetry book from Kuwabara. Hiei, he ended up catching me, and stealing Kurama's brush! Life sucked at that present time, but I began to wonder why Hiei stole it.  
  
Anyway, I brushed away my semi-brown semi-blonde hair from my eyes, straightened my glasses, and started walking. It wasn't long before I got to the warehouse at the harbor, Hiei's present hide away. I drew my sword of rabidness and entered. There was Hiei, with his back to me, staring at a picture of Kurama. I blinked and coughed loudly. He turned around and tossed the picture aside, the glass frame crashing into the wall.  
  
Hiei: Shimatta. What're you doing in here? +growls and unsheathes his katana+  
  
Karissa (Me): Settle down boy. I came with a request. +grins+  
  
Hiei: Request? Hn. What kind of request?  
  
Me: I need you to star in my latest movie.  
  
Hiei: No. Star, in your movie? +scoffs+ I doubt I would ever do anything of the like.  
  
Me: Oh, yes you will. Otherwise I'll tell Kurama about your slight, obsession? +gestures to the smashed torn picture+  
  
Hiei: You do and I will slit your throat.  
  
Me: I'll sic my rabid in a jar on you.  
  
Hiei: Rabid in a jar? Hn. I'll rip her to shreds as well, give you a demonstration and a preview of the things to come.  
  
Me: As long as you take off your shirt, I'm fine with anything! +broad grin+  
  
Hiei: +death glare+ I would never do anything of the sort for you!  
  
Me: You will for Kurama, won't you?  
  
Hiei: Pansuke! How dare you...? +sullen glare+  
  
Me: Never call me a pansuke! +takes a small jar from her pocket and threatens to open the lid+  
  
Hiei: +growls and flashes behind me, grabbing me by the wrist and twisting my arm+ Hn. Thought you could beat me?  
  
Me: +throws the jar and breaks it open on the concrete+  
  
An ugly girl of about thirteen, wearing a Hiei t-shirt and Kurama boxers jumps out of the jar. She has red hair dyed to fit Kurama's, and has a jagan tattooed on her forehead. She has a Kurama+Hiei button pinned to her chest, and she is squealing in sheer delight, her color contacted red eyes sparkling dramatically.  
  
Rabid Fan Girl: HIEI! +screams and clings to him from behind+  
  
Hiei: +for fear of letting me go, he kicks her on the knee+  
  
Rabid Fan Girl: +is unfazed+ Hiei! I've been kicked by Hiei! +screams+ Marry me!  
  
After an extreme fight in which I was very close to Hiei (and glad), Hiei ended up on his knees, still clinging to me and attempting to cover his ears as well. He was stripped down to his red boxers, and his katana was missing. The rabid fan girl had them, as she worshipping them as they were placed upon the crate Hiei had been sitting on earlier.  
  
Rabid Fan Girl: Oh great Master of the Otaku, I, the great Jeynika Danimiya, sacrifice these articles of attire to the Gods in order to meet more bishounen of wonder in the future!  
  
Me: +gags and clutches Hiei+  
  
Hiei: +throws me down and sheathes his katana+  
  
Me: +snaps fingers, and Rabid Fan Girl returns to her now whole jar+  
  
Hiei: +blinks and puts on his clothes+  
  
Me: +whimpers+ So, will you join me?  
  
Hiei: +nods+ Yes, only on one condition.  
  
Me: That I will love you forever?  
  
Hiei: As if. +smirks+ Just keep that idiotic girl away from me. And do not tell Kurama about any of this.  
  
Me: All right! +moves to hug him+  
  
Hiei: +growls+ Touch me and suffer.  
  
Me: Deal. +backs away+ I'll get you later.  
  
I successfully had Hiei working for me. As we walked out of the warehouse, I began skipping. Now it was on to Yusuke. He wouldn't be that difficult, seeing that I had Hiei with him, he would be immediately agreeable. I grinned and pulled out Yusuke's hair gel from my pack and sniffed the opening. It smelled exactly of Yusuke, or, at least of Yusuke's apartment. Hiei gave me an odd stare, as if I were an major otaku, but I regarded it with a placid sniff.  
  
Yusuke would be mine almost instantly. 


	2. Hiring the Cast, Kuwabara

Disclaimer: I don't own Yusuke or Kurama. I wish, but I don't. Happy? Oh, and by the way, Pheobe, this is for you. +cackles insanely+ Another huge note. I LOVE Kuwabara. All these insults that point towards him are stupid and I despise them. But still... Yusuke first.  
  
Note: Not for the squeamish. And I mean it. Scroll down a bit and find out!  
  
Hiring the Cast- Kuwabara  
  
  
  
'Hiei is such a bastard sometimes,' I thought as we tromped to Kuwabara's house. I had gotten so high off of the hair gel, that I had Hiei lead me to Kuwabara's house, instead of Yusuke's. Instead of going to my beloved's house, I was lead to the oaf's. Fuck it all, life stunk. I wanted to kill Hiei. I wanted to shove his wonderful Kurama down his throat. I wanted to push Jeynika down his throat. Stick sawed glass in his mouth and make him chew, fast, and then slow.  
  
When we got there I remembered that Pheobe was supposed to be retrieving Kuwabara and Kurama. I grinned and knocked on the door, and raised my eyebrows at Hiei, who shrugged and knocked a second time. He was sweet by some views, I suppose it was the simple things.  
  
Mrs. Kazuma: +opens door+ Hello there! Come for Kuwabara? Someone else is all ready here, but I suppose he's expecting you as well.  
  
Me: Yes ma'am, arigatou. (My thoughts: Pheobe is here. Joy.)  
  
Mrs. Kazuma: Go right on it. +opens the door wider+  
  
Hiei and I trudge up the stairs, hands shoved in our pockets and sour expressions on our faces. That was my revenge on Hiei, he didn't realize he would have to be here as well. I saw the door with the posters of the fighters and what not, and knocked on the door. I was greeted by sounds of longing, and moaning, and I raised my eyebrows. Hiei growled and opened the door, and both our jaws dropped.  
  
Satan, tell me I was being punished for sucking on Yusuke that one time.  
  
Pheobe, and Kuwabara... SNOGGING? I was appalled, disgusted, and thrilled. Hiei was all three, but add the element of amusement and you have his reaction.  
  
Me: PHEOBE!?!?! What the fuck are you doing? +gags+  
  
At this point, Kuwabara and Phoebe had noticed us standing in the doorway. At this point remember. Allow me to stress that again, -this point-.  
  
Phoebe: Nothing. +blinks and goes back to kissing Kuwabara+  
  
Hiei: It sure appears that way Pheobe.  
  
Phoebe: It is not! +meanwhile, Kuwabara is licking her neck+  
  
Me: +gags+ Break it up! You're here to recruit people for movies. Not recruit make out men.  
  
All but Me: Make out men?  
  
Me: +blanches+ It was the only thing I could think of! Gimme a break!  
  
Pheobe: And I thought you were supposed to be getting Yusuke right now. Did you get high off of his hair gel again?  
  
Me: NO!  
  
Hiei: +shifty eyes+  
  
Me: Anyway... Kuwabara are you going to be in our damned movie or not?  
  
Kuwabara: +points to Pheobe+ If she comes.  
  
Pheobe: Baka, of course I'm coming.  
  
Love can be difficult sometimes. Me and Hiei left Kuwabara and Pheobe to their snogging, and promised to come back in about an hour. We would have Yusuke and Kurama under our belts then. We walked out of Kuwabara's house after saying good-bye to Mrs. Kazuma, and headed down the street towards Kurama's house. Hiei insisted. I almost threatened to take out Jeynika from her jar again, but since it was for love, I couldn't object.  
  
Two down, two to go.  
  
  
  
A/N: This chapter is for pure revenge. My friend Pheobe wrote a beautiful fic entitled the Ace of something or another. +cackles+ Her username here on FF.net is Korigan, so be sure to read her one and only story. +pouts+ She tortures Ron in that fic, and this is her punishment. Yes, I am evil.  
  
Phoebe's Comments: -gags, faints- I can't even retrieve someone else?! This is NOT fair!  
  
Life ain't fair sweetheart. +blinks+ 


	3. Hiring the Cast, Kurama

Disclaimer: I don't own Kurama. I own Yusuke due to some fights with Funimation productions, but that's it. +giggles+ Not really. We'll be able to move on to bigger and better things once this chapter is done with.  
  
Hiring the Cast- Kurama  
  
After strolling away from Kuwabara's house, I began to skip, once again. Hiei, who was getting really pissed at me, grabbed my arm, and forced me to fly to Kurama's. The angsty youkai, one of these days I would. I would. I don't know! I would do something! Do something really evil! Or perhaps I could possibly take my revenge out on my beloved Pheobe. Evil, call me by no other name.  
  
As we stood on the steps of the youko's home, ringing the doorbell, I watched apprehensively as Hiei attempted to fix his hair up properly. Then he flashed Kurama's old hairbrush from his pocket and straightened his hair up, very sexily I might add. Quirking my eyebrows, I knocked on the door once again. Surprisingly, Kurama himself opened it, and I was astounded to see the half-koorime melt under the kitsune's emerald gaze.  
  
Kurama: Hiei? -Karissa-? What are you doing here?  
  
Hiei: +clears his throat+ We have come with a request.  
  
Me: Yes, a request. I am requesting your participate, and star, in my latest movie. A tragic love story about two lovers, fighting evil for a common cause, who fall into a romantic love.  
  
Kurama: That's going a bit extravagant on the love, eh Karissa?  
  
Hiei: Kurama, you don't have a choice. You might as well go, otherwise you're not going to be very happy when Karissa takes out revenge on you.  
  
Kurama: Revenge? Hiei, I thought you would've--- No way! Hiei. You -wanted- to come?  
  
Hiei: After an intense battle, yes. (I swear, he winked at me when he said 'intense'.)  
  
Kurama: Intense battle? +puzzled+  
  
Karissa: +pipes up+ Yes, very intense! I remember when I.  
  
Kurama: Fine! I'll go! Only because Shiori's asleep I do not want to disturb her.  
  
Hiei: Thank you Kurama. +bows+  
  
Karissa: +coughs+ Shounen-ai! +coughs+ Hiei: +elbows me and takes Kurama by the arm+ Kuwabara is with Pheobe, so now all we have to do is go and get Yusuke.  
  
Karissa: +squeals+ Yes!  
  
And so we strolled on to Yusuke's house. I was so happy, I thrusted that bottle of hair gel into Kurama's face, causing both of them to tie me up and poke me with a thorny whip. Even if I was tied up, bondage is enjoyable, isn't it? 


	4. Hiring the Cast, Yusuke

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho. I own Yusuke though. I kinda stole him from Funimation productions and I don't think I'll ever give him back either. ^_^ Oh, and Pheobe, I lied. +cackles evilly+  
  
Hiring the Cast-Yusuke  
  
As Hiei and I trudged back towards Yusuke's street, I begin to ponder a few things. Why in the world were Kuwabara and Pheobe snogging for one thing. And why in the hell was Hiei being so obsessive towards Kurama? I doubt Kurama returned his feelings, but then again. Shaking my head, I glanced at Hiei, who was staring at the ground. What a sweet little youkai he was. I couldn't snap out of it, next I would fall in love with Kuwabara. That was even scarier than Pheobe in love with him, and snogging him!  
  
Attempting to get these nasty thoughts out of my head, I looked up and saw Yusuke's flat. Life was good. Grinning, I floated up towards Yusuke's bedroom window, Hiei jumping into the tree, climbing beside me. Kurama chose to stay behind. I peered in through the open window, and smiled at what I saw. A sleeping Yusuke. It was so sweet, I almost fainted. Hiei entered the room first and I saw his smug smirk. I would show him. I would disgust him.  
  
((A/N: Turn back while you still can.))  
  
Stripping down to only my undergarments, (yes, I am modest) I snuggled in next to Yusuke in the bed, pulling the bed cover up over my neck and nuzzling his cheek. Hiei almost gagged, and when my lips moved to touch his, Yusuke's eyes snapped open like a beer bottle cap.  
  
Yusuke: "HOLY KASU! Karissa, what the fuck are you doing here?" Blinking, Yusuke jumped out of bed, and I was even more surprised, and Hiei more appalled, to find that Yusuke slept naked.  
  
Me: +snorts+ Nothing. I was just.  
  
Yusuke: You were just. KARISSA! You are so dead when I get dressed!  
  
Me: Please! Don't! I like you that way!  
  
Yusuke: I'm sure you do! You probably got high off my hair gel again!  
  
Me: WHAT IS IT WITH PEOPLE AND YOUR DAMNED HAIR GEL?  
  
Hiei: +shifty eyes+ Who knows Karissa? Who knows. +insane laugh+  
  
Me and Yusuke: +cling to one another+  
  
Me: Hmmm. +nuzzles+  
  
Yusuke: +throws me down on the bed+  
  
Me: YAY! +chibi eyes+  
  
Yusuke: What are you two here for? +picks up a jacket from his table and buttons it up+  
  
Hiei: Karissa wants us to star in her latest movie.  
  
Yusuke: Then why are -you- here?  
  
Hiei: Because of personal reasons.  
  
Me: +coughs+  
  
Yusuke: Right. So, I suppose you want me to come as well?  
  
Me and Hiei: Yes! +look at each other+ Abnormal.  
  
Yusuke: +quirks eyebrows+ Riiight. Well Karissa, since Hiei is coming, for an unknown purpose in which I think you used violent acts of violence. I must go as well.  
  
Me and Hiei (again): YES! +bright eyes+  
  
Me: Hiei, did we just have another moment?  
  
Hiei: +fingers katana+ I don't know. Did we?  
  
Me: NO! +whimpers+  
  
So I once again had a member of the Reikai Tantei under my belt. Not to mention I had the privilege to see Yusuke naked. Once again, my rabid fangirlishness about Hiei had prevailed. And then something else struck me down. Pheobe was supposed to have gotten Kurama first, so as to intimidate Kuwabara. This was a shocking state of affairs, for sure.  
  
Pheobe. I pray you aren't snogging Kuwabara when we get back. 


	5. Off to the Studio

Disclaimer: I own only Yusuke! Keep away from me! +blinks and scuttles off+ ((Really I don't. I wish, I don't. Happy? I think someone is laughing at me right now. -.-)) Oh, another note. This is another part of my revenge! Only this time, not on Pheobe! Scary. YES! Oh, and by the way, all the couples, except Hiei/Kurama do not exist in Yu Yu Hakusho anymore, got it? Good!  
  
Off to the Studio  
  
After coming back to collect Pheobe and Kuwabara, we all started towards the studio. I was walking beside Yusuke, who was trying to have a conversation (if possible) with Kuwabara, who couldn't keep his eyes off Pheobe. Hiei was gazing into Kurama's eyes, and Kurama was looking at him quite oddly. I winked at Pheobe, who suddenly remembered the seductive smilies and chuckled.  
  
((A/N: Seductive smiles are only a figment of the imagination.))  
  
I hung back from the group and watched everyone walk ahead. I took from my pack the abnormally large script and flipped through it. Yusuke, who saw that I wasn't tagging along side him anymore, came back and joined me.  
  
Yusuke: What's that? +points to script+  
  
Me: The script for the movie.  
  
Yusuke: That's a lot of script. (No surprise, no nothing. He knows me by now.)  
  
Me: Yes, I suppose so. Sorry about the 'startling you while you were in bed to piss off Hiei' deal. That was stupid.  
  
Yusuke: No problem. Not that it wasn't the first time you've ever done that anyway.  
  
Me: You'll get used to it.  
  
Yusuke: Ummm. Yeah?  
  
Me: +sighs+ Damned movie.  
  
Yusuke: Why are you making a movie anyway?  
  
Me: I dunno. I guess I just felt like it.  
  
Kuwabara: +turns around and waves to us+ C'mon! We're here!  
  
Yusuke: +sarcastic+ Yay.  
  
Me: +giggles+ Yes, let's go. When we reached the studio and Pheobe had unlocked the door, there was no one in sight. I went to go find the costumes while Pheobe looked over the script again. The studio had one large stage, and several cameras and booms behind it. Paint cans littered behind the set, and all the costumes were backstage, in the still clean dressing rooms.  
  
Pheobe: Hmmm.. Let's see. This play is called 'Humble Impudence', and it's about two men who fall in love with one another. One man has a friend, whom he adores greatly, and he tells him about the affair. This friend goes berserk and then seduces that lover. They end up in a mess when the first guy's old lover finds out, and so he goes to his friend. They end up having a love affair, and then the first guy who started this ordeal discovers this. But then -they- find out that their two friends were seeing one another behind their backs.  
  
Kurama: So basically, this about four guys just fucking one another?  
  
Hiei: What about women?  
  
Pheobe: There are none. This is a shounen-ai movie.  
  
Yusuke: I can tell who wrote this.  
  
Kuwabara: No shit.  
  
Hiei: You -know- who wrote this?  
  
Kuwabara: Spielberg!  
  
All: +face fault+  
  
As all are getting up from the ground, a handsome teenager walks onto the set behind me, carrying a bundle of costumes. He is wearing a janitor's uniform and the tag says "Tei Yuiu' on the front in blue cursive. Before Pheobe can stop him, Kuwabara has raced over to Tei, grabbed him by the wrist, and yanked him into the broom closet.  
  
Me: +ignores them and picks up the costumes+  
  
Pheobe: Anyway. Kurama, you shall be Toshikiko, the first lover, and main character in the story.  
  
Me: +hands Kurama his costume, which is a silky black blouse and white silken trousers+  
  
Kurama: Ummm. Thanks?  
  
Pheobe: Hiei, you will be Serzuno, Toshikiko's first lover.  
  
Hiei: YES! +jumps fifty feet in the air+  
  
Me: +hands Hiei his costume, a dark red robe with a white body suit for underneath, with silver shackles+  
  
Pheobe: Yusuke will be Kurama's friend Kerazu, the one he later has an affair with.  
  
Hiei: You mean I--.  
  
Pheobe: Yes. Kuwabara will be Ronoki, your friend and later lover.  
  
Yusuke: That means I have to snog him in the end! NO! Absolutely NOT!  
  
Me: +hands Yusuke his costume, a silver body suit with a green harness looking thing+ Just deal with it.  
  
Pheobe: And Kuwabara gets to wear the navy blue tunic and the black breeches.  
  
Kurama: This is so much fun. +eyes Hiei+  
  
Hiei: Oh, yes it is! 


	6. Setting Up

Disclaimer: I own Yusuke on Funimation's off hours. Nothing else.  
  
Setting up  
  
Setting up the set was so much fun. Basically there was a fancy dining room and a garden for the settings. So we grabbed the paint and began painting. Except for Kuwabara, who was still snogging the janitor. Me and Pheobe had fun turning Hiei red as we spilled blue paint on him, and Yusuke had to be funny and dump pink paint all over Kurama. Then everyone took a turn covering me in purple paint. After that, I dunked Pheobe in orange paint, so it was all in good fun.  
  
Once the setting was done, everyone was in costume, and me and Pheobe had gotten Kuwabara out of the janitor's grasp, we all sat down in the dining room, practicing character expressions.  
  
Pheobe: Right. Now, Kurama, your character is passionate, optimistic, charming, and sexy.  
  
Me: Basically, be yourself.  
  
Kurama: I suppose I can do that. +sexy grin+  
  
Hiei: +melts+  
  
Me: +giggles+  
  
Pheobe: Yusuke, you're brave, courageous, witty, and drop dead gorgeous.  
  
Me: That was my line you baka.  
  
Hiei: What'd you say Karissa?  
  
Me: Nothing! +perks up and glances at the script+ Hiei, you are defying, intelligent, and pessimistic. Oh, and dangerously sexy.  
  
Kuwabara: What about me?  
  
Yusuke: He's a fucked up oaf.  
  
Me: No. This is a movie, not an anime. Kuwabara is strong, caring, and spontaneous.  
  
Yusuke: +whispering to Hiei+ Whoopee.  
  
Me: +death glare+ Anyway. This is the first scene. It's Kurama and Hiei, so you guys get up on stage, in the garden, on the parkbench.  
  
Pheobe: Kurama on the left and Hiei on the right. Kurama, cross your legs and twist your torso to your right. Hiei, have one leg curled up under you and the other leg hanging off the bench, turn to face Kurama. Now, the teleprompter will show you your lines, all you have to do is make sure you portray your emotions correctly.  
  
Hiei: Toshikiko, how can we continue this relationship without our friends knowing? This is impossible for me, and you know it.  
  
Kurama: But Serzuno, I believe we both have the strength to keep this up. +takes Hiei's hand+ I know we can do this without Kerazu and Ronoki ever finding out.  
  
Hiei: +is being reduced to a puddle on the bench+ But Toshikiko. I just can't. +wretches hand away+ You know I can't. We can't see each other like this anymore. +jumps off of bench and moves to walk away+  
  
Kurama: Serzuno! +bounds off the bench and grabs Hiei by the waist, spinning him around and kissing him full on the lips+  
  
Hiei: +turns into that puddle mentioned above+  
  
Yusuke: +gawps from behind camera+  
  
Me: CUT! We made it somewhere!  
  
Kurama: +breaks the kiss and pats Hiei on the back+ Having fun yet?  
  
Hiei: +starry eyes+  
  
Pheobe: This is interesting. We barely even started the movie yet.  
  
Me: +eyes Yusuke+ And I have a plan. 


	7. Movie Scenes and Compromises

Disclaimer: None. You've read it before on the last chapters, you can read it there again.  
  
Movie Scenes  
  
((A/N: Just a few scenes from the beginning of the movie, after the first scene in the last chapter.))  
  
|In the garden, midnight|  
  
Kurama: Serzuno, promise me you will never let me go.  
  
Hiei: I could never promise that Toshikiko. But I can promise you this. +cups Kurama's cheek with one hand, and slips his other hand around his waist+ That I will always love you.  
  
Kurama: +tears well in his eyes+ Serzuno. +kisses him once again+  
  
Hiei: +doesn't melt, but returns the kiss with a certain. fire+  
  
~After several seconds, in which they kiss and fondle.~  
  
Kurama: I have to tell Kerazu. He must know what is happening between us. He must.  
  
Hiei: +hisses+ No Toshikiko! Don't you see? If word ever gets out about our relationship.. I don't want to even think about what will happen to you.  
  
Kurama: They can do what they want, but I don't want this burden kept secret in my heart!  
  
Hiei: +kisses him on the cheek+ Promise me. +whispers+ You won't speak a word of this, as my lover and my friend, promise me.  
  
Kurama: I'll do it for you, love.  
  
|Next Scene- in the dining room, before the evening supper|  
  
Yusuke: Toshikiko, you wanted to see me? +raises eyebrows+  
  
Kurama: Yes, yes I did. +paces the table as he gestures for Kerazu to have a seat+ Kerazu, remembered how I invited our guests Serzuno and Ronoki for the stay here at the Manor?  
  
Yusuke: Yes, they are still here, and are awaiting in their chambers for the meal.  
  
Kurama: I must tell you, that I have certain feelings towards them.  
  
Yusuke: As do I Toshikiko. +flushes a deep crimson+  
  
Kurama: Yes, but I have been seeing Serzuno. As in a love affair.  
  
Yusuke: +jumps up from the table+ In-in a love affair?  
  
Kurama: Yes! Why do you ask?  
  
Yusuke: Toshikiko?  
  
Kurama: Yes? +looks at him apprehensively+  
  
Yusuke: +pulls him into his arms and lets loose an earth shattering kiss+ Because I always desired to be able to give you what you now have.  
  
+|+|+|+  
  
Me: Brilliant you guys, simply brilliant!  
  
Kurama: I thought so as well.  
  
Yusuke: Heh. Yeah. +stuffs his hands into the pockets of his costume and walks off+  
  
Pheobe: +blinks at Hiei, who is walking after Yusuke with his right arm glowing+ No Hiei!  
  
Hiei: But he stole my Kurama. +blinks and becomes a puddle on the floor again+  
  
Kuwabara: I'll go get that sexy janitor! +scuttles off+  
  
Me: +follows Yusuke+ Yusuke? Kerazu?  
  
Yusuke: Oh.. Hey Karissa.  
  
Me: What's wrong?  
  
Yusuke: Nothing. It's just a damned movie, right?  
  
Me: Damned movie? I thought you'd say that with a bit more enthusiasm.  
  
Yusuke: +chuckles+ I suppose so.  
  
Me: What's the matter?  
  
Yusuke: You don't think there could be a change in plot, could there?  
  
Me: Sure! How and why?  
  
Yusuke: +deep breath+ I want Kerazu and Serzuno to have a little fling as well.  
  
Me: +blinks+ You like Hiei, don't you? (At this point, I have a pain right in my heart and my mind wants to explode.)  
  
Yusuke: Obvious huh? Yeah, could you, please?  
  
Me: Yes! By this time tomorrow, I'll have the script rewritten that everyone has a fuck with everyone. +grins+ (Including me.)  
  
Yusuke: Arigatou! +huggles+  
  
Me: Don't mention it.  
  
Read and review, I worked hard all day on updating this fic, be proud! 


	8. Conflict

Disclaimer: None, go find a fic that has one. Or scroll back to a previous chapter. This is basically a conflict that goes on at the set, between Pheobe and me. This really didn't happened I just wanted to add spice to the fic. I would like to thank EVERYONE who reviewed my fic. And the Hiei/Kurama thing. Who knows? +sly grin+  
  
Conflict  
  
Pheobe and I are sitting in the directors trailers, while the guys are next door having a party with the sake Hiei brought, imported from the harbor. I have the humungous script in front of me and Pheobe is holding a pen in her hand, glaring at me with contempt.  
  
Pheobe: You can't change the plot Karissa! We haven't even filmed a quarter of the movie yet, and you want it changed!  
  
Me: YES! I want it changed before we do something wrong. This film is all ready starting to cause stress and I don't want to be responsible for more!  
  
Pheobe: No! You just want to sleep with Yusuke! You want a change in characters.  
  
Me: +jumps up from the table and resists the urge to slap her, knowing full well she could kick my ass+ FUCK NO! I want Yusuke to be happy! I want him to be all rabid over someone like I am.  
  
Pheobe: And you're the last person I thought would live up to a code Karissa.  
  
Me: Piss off bitch. +sulks+  
  
Pheobe: Fuck off asshole.  
  
Me: Kuwabara sucker.  
  
Pheobe: +raises eyebrows+ At least I got something.  
  
Me: +closes script book+ Yay?  
  
Pheobe: +punches me in the face, and I go back staggering+  
  
Me: +clutches cheek and walks out of the trailer crying my eyes out+ (I'm emotional that way.)  
  
Pheobe: +crosses arms+ Baka.  
  
+|+|+|+  
  
I sat down on the bench at the garden scene in the studio, applying makeup to the ugly bruise that resulted from being punched in the face. Sarcasm, I noted, was never to be used on Pheobe again. The backstage lights flickered on and I heard footsteps, so I fell into the shadows, cursing the bastard who was at the studio at such an hour. (Hypocrite.) I whimpered when I accidentally smacked my bruised cheek on one of the rose thorns that Kurama so delicately planted near the stage door. The lights came on at the front of the set, and I gazed at Hiei with piercing eyes.  
  
Hiei: I heard someone out here.  
  
Me: Yeah, it was me, I was just rearranging the garden setting. +moves to fix flowers+  
  
Hiei: What's that? +he points to my face, and when I touch it, blood falls onto my fingertips+  
  
Me: Nothing.  
  
Hiei: Dumb ass. Did Pheobe punch you again?  
  
Me: Yes. Quit using your jagan. It's quite unbecoming.  
  
Hiei: Baka. It's for your own good. +his eyes search mine, and I find Hiei as a big bastard than before+ So. Yusuke likes me?  
  
Me: +sheepish nod+  
  
Hiei: Baka ningen. But let him have his fun. Change the script, see if -I- care. +walks off+  
  
Me: Dumb ass. +mumbles and wipes the blood off her face+ He doesn't know what he pulled himself into.  
  
Yusuke: +enters the set+ Hiei said you'd like to see me?  
  
Me: I guess so. Sly bastard. Script is changed, I talked to Pheobe, you get to snog him in the end.  
  
Yusuke: Arigatou Karissa! I have to thank Pheobe, where is she?  
  
Me: +ponders+ Probably drinking sake in the trailer. +points to the door+  
  
As Yusuke skips out the door, I begin to wonder if this would happen when I married. Mental Note: Kuwabara proposing is a niiiice thought. 


	9. The Script Takes Affect

Disclaimer: Yusuke is mine on days when no one wants Kuwabara except me. So basically they're both mine all the time. Bwhuhuhuhu? No hentai, sorry Aoi, but just. no. Hentai isn't evil, just not appropriate for this fic. It's supposed to be humor.  
  
The Script Takes Affect  
  
{Dun dun dun}  
  
One night as I sat with Yusuke in the editing room, editing the movie footage, I came across a wonderful piece of work. I had gone back to into the city to purchase more costumes since Hiei's umm. Anxiousness protruded the seam to his pants during one scene. Pheobe had taken over and this was the footage from that day.  
  
Yusuke: Serzuno, may I please speak to you for a moment? +leads him off, away from the others in the garden towards the back, camera following+  
  
Hiei: Kerazu, what is this about?  
  
Yusuke: Serzuno, I know about your affair with Toshikiko.  
  
Hiei: He broke his word. He promised me, as a lover, that he would never do this to me. Why did you come to see me, to insult and taunt me, proving he will break his lovers trust over your friendship?  
  
Yusuke: Never Serzuno! +moves closer+ I wanted to assure you I will not speak a word to anyone outside the house, outside your chamber, your garden. +gestures to flowering, beautiful garden+  
  
Hiei: Thank you kind host. +moves to walk away+  
  
Yusuke: +catches him by the arm+ Serzuno.  
  
((At this point, I am squealing in utter delight and me and Yusuke are clinging to one another in anticipation.))  
  
Hiei: What now Kerazu?  
  
Yusuke: This. +pulls him into another French-y kiss, gripping Hiei firmly about the waist with one hand and running his hand through his hair with the other+  
  
Hiei: +once this kiss is broken, he looks at Yusuke with startled eyes+ To the chamber?  
  
Yusuke: Yes Serzuno. To the chamber. +both exit+  
  
+|+|+|+  
  
Me: Yusuke, that was beautiful! +giggles+ Yusuke: Of course it was, apart from Kurama, I am the best damned actor there ever was!  
  
Kuwabara: +walks into the room with a bottle of sake in his hands+ C'mon you guys. +eyes us, and we move apart, in other words, stop the clinging+ Tei has sake for us and Kurama brought back take out. MacDonald's!  
  
Both: YAY! +run out of the room+ 


	10. Evil Scheme

Disclaimer: I own none, do not laugh at me. -.-  
  
Evil Scheme  
  
Hiei and Kurama were sitting in one of the trailers, talking to one another and going over their lines for the next scene. Kurama suddenly moved to the closet and pulled out his costume. Unbuttoning his shirt and slipping it off, Hiei melted on the floor again, for the third time this fic.  
  
Kurama: Hiei, is there a problem?  
  
Hiei: No problem. It's just a bit hot in here.  
  
Kurama: That's strange, considering you're a fire demon.  
  
Hiei: +coughs+  
  
Kurama: +slips on his costume shirt+ I was thinking.  
  
Hiei: Yes koibi- I mean, yes Kurama?  
  
Kurama: Karissa is really beginning to perturb me, wouldn't you agree?  
  
Hiei: Not entirely. Why?  
  
Kurama: I believe we should do away with her. We could run this movie ourselves.  
  
Hiei: Run this movie ourselves? +gulps+ I don't know. Karissa would probably fight. She has Jeynika Danimiya. +shudders+  
  
Kurama: Exactly. Which is why we should stop her before this movie expands over the expression 'epic proportions'.  
  
Hiei: But don't you think Pheobe and Yusuke would have their revenge?  
  
Kurama: That could pose a problem, but I believe that Kuwabara could hold off Pheobe and you could hold off Yusuke. You would do that, wouldn't you?  
  
Hiei: Of course, anything for you.  
  
Kurama: Riiight. So, how do you believe we go about it?  
  
Hiei: This is YOUR fucking plan, not mine.  
  
Kurama: I suppose so. +sighs+  
  
Me: +enters trailer+ Hiya guys!  
  
Kurama: Hello.  
  
Hiei: Seen Yusuke?  
  
Me: Oh, we were talking a bit ago.  
  
Hiei: +giggles and flashes a bottle of hair gel+  
  
Me: MINE! +lunges+  
  
Hiei: +dodges+  
  
Me: +face faults+  
  
Kurama: WHAT IS IT WITH EVERYONE AND HAIR GEL?  
  
Readers: Everything. +inhale hair gel+ Yusuke. +dreamy sighs+  
  
Me: +applauds+  
  
|End of Reader Interaction|  
  
Kurama: ANYway. Karissa, why are you here?  
  
Me: Because I wanted to give Hiei his spare pair of pants.  
  
Hiei: +blanches+ I made another hole in the seam.  
  
Kurama: Yes. Well, now, off with you. +shoos her away+  
  
Me: +tosses hair and walks out of the trailer+  
  
Hiei: I'll miss the hair gel taunting, but we can do it. I'm in.  
  
Kurama: Excellent. +shifty eyes and evil cackle+  
  
Hiei: +runs out of the room+ What do I see in that baka kitsune?  
  
Kurama: This is my most brilliant plan ever.  
  
+|+|+|+  
  
A/N: What will Kurama do for power? Tsk tsk. Chapter ten! It's magnificent! 


	11. Suzaku's Role

Disclaimer: Do not own YYH. I own no one. Suzaku is my bishie oh yes he is. +dances+ This chapter was inspired by Set, because he's such a cute seme! XD  
  
Suzaku's Role  
  
I was sitting at the studio next to Pheobe, pointing to the scene and then at the script. We were going to have to change the entire set, considering that one of the next scenes was in a ball room. Pheobe suggested that we just purchase props for a ballroom and use the dining room set for that scene. So we were then sketching it out, and doing all the budget work that comes along with a movie.  
  
Kuwabara: +strolls onto the set with Tei in tow, sipping from a MacDonald's cup+ Hiya guys!  
  
Pheobe: Heya. (I think Pheobe got over little Kuwabara fling.)  
  
Me: +doesn't even bother to look up+ Hi.  
  
Kuwabara: I heard it's time for my scene.  
  
Pheobe: Did you tell him that?  
  
Me: No. Hiei did. Shounen no baka.  
  
Kuwabara: WELL?!!?  
  
Me: We appointed someone else as your. um. replacement Kuwabara.  
  
Pheobe: +whispers+ I thought it was acting classes.  
  
Me: If I can convince him to replace him, no.  
  
Suddenly there is a loud clap of thunder and a bolt of lightning streaks across the studio, knocking over one of the cameras. Kurama, Hiei, and Yusuke all came running out onto the set as we all watched the lightning flashing and thunder crashing in the sky. Kuwabara wet himself at least five times in succession, and I believe that I had drooled enough to ruin the entire stage drawing that Pheobe had drawn. Appearing before us with lightning twirling around him was a blonde headed youth with a red robe and a white scarf draped over his neck and shoulders.  
  
Pheobe: +jumps up and smiles at this new -bishounen-+ Welcome Suzaku, to Rabid Fan Girl productions. I hope you enjoy your stay.  
  
Suzaku: I have a very busy schedule. Keeping track of those new recruits for being the Saint Beasts and appearing for power company commercials can be quite exhausting.  
  
Me: Of course it is Suzaku! Which is why we made our schedule adjustable to ours. +moves to shake his hand+  
  
Suzaku: Now, where are my trainees?  
  
Yusuke: TRAINEES?!?!  
  
Kuwabara: NANI?!!?!  
  
Pheobe: Suzaku is going to help us all practice lines and learn better techniques in acting. He is a very busy youkai and requested his presence here at the studio is placing back quite a penny on the budget.  
  
Me: So just bear with us while we straighten things out.  
  
Kurama: +tosses his hair+ If he care bear with us.  
  
Suzaku: +smirks+  
  
Me: +melts, almost faints+  
  
Yusuke: Maybe if we keep Suzaku here for good, Karissa won't like me anymore. Interesting prospect.  
  
Suzaku: +looks at the puddle that is Karissa+ Yes. Anyway, show us to the studio.  
  
Me: +immediately reforms+ Come with me. +links arms with him, walks off+  
  
Pheobe: +glances at clipboard, shaking head+ Hiei, you and Kurama and scheduled to have classes with him as soon as Karissa finishes the tour. Yusuke, after lunch, you and Kuwabara will be joining Suzaku for your lessons.  
  
Yusuke: If Karissa ever finishes the tour of the bedroom.  
  
Hiei: Once can be sure of that. If Suzaku hasn't changed any, he is all that we will require for any control over Karissa.  
  
Pheobe: Thank Kami. 


End file.
